No, not here either

Here I am back in a place where we used to live. As expected she's not here either. Its one thing to know this consciously and another to go through it to prove it to the primitive part of my mind.

At least (because more here knew her than me) more people that I meet are more sad for her passing than for my situation.

As expected it feels like crap and I feel lonely. Now everyone that we knew here has moved to other towns and there is noone here I know. This is both good and bad.

As I have learned, "you have to make horror your friend, as horror is a formidable enemy". So no matter how hard it is I have to find a way through this or it will forever rule me.

Also, as expected, I can focus on my feelings and my future directions from here in isolation and without distractions. Living in my home was increasingly difficult. Lets see if it becomes that way here...

[picture by Lari]