Wednesday, 16 September 2015

denial or delusion?

I'm not sure if I've "come out and said it" but I just wanted to pass on something which to me has gone beyond "knowledge" and into the fully grokked ... that is that control over things is an illusion or a delusion (depending on how you view yourself).

Sure, we know how to control our bodies with our will, but once it gets past simple things, the lines blur and the illusion breaks down. Even with our own bodies (which we think we control) there are processes which we do not. Mostly we attempt to have some sort of control over our bodies, which we often call social graces, and we don't fart, piss or shit in places which social thinking tells us not to (and indeed good hygienic practice too). Of course this can only be controlled for so long (and many a joke had about that topic).

But after then its all pretty much down to chance or luck; not our planning.

You could (for instance) be walking across the road on the phone planning that big thing to be hit suddenly by a car that you walked out in front of ...

If you survive (and depending on your injuries) you may come to the realisation that you were not actually in control of the things which matter in your life. By your inattention you had abdicated the control over them.

Sometimes however we never actually had control. For instance my friends death from cancer when I was 20, my own heart condition, my wifes sudden death from a brain tumor, all these things are clear reminders that I'm a wanderer on this earth not anyone in charge of my destiny.

This is not to say don't try to plan and don't try to organise, but it is to say that you need to keep in mind that it just may not happen the way you planned.

The important thing is to not get angry at these things because your control was just an illusion anyway.

To me getting angry over what you had no control over is just evidence that you are in denial about this, or deluded about what power you really have. Probably the more angry you get the more you are deep in denial or delusion.

Life can be enjoyed (of course sometimes its not fun at all ... ), but don't stake your life (and your plans in life) on the delusional idea that "you're in control" ... well ... it never leads to happiness


Yu-Lin Chan said...

Very well said. Those who think they can and try to control everything usually do not have time being happy. At some point one should accept what is, move on, and spend more time on things that make them happy.

Anonymous said...

I was searching for the difference between 'in my view' and 'on my view' when I chanced upon your blog, and your view on putting yourself out of the equation of who controls your life resonated with me. I am trying to enjoy life and I hope you enjoy your life too, friend!

Anonymous said...

^ same poster as above. I read that you are in the process of grief and if you've 45 minutes you might want to listen to 'Fresh Air' Remembers Author Maurice Sendak here: which helped me. Take care.

obakesan said...


I will look it up. Its been a long ree years, I guess I'm doing OK all things considered


Charles Maclauchlan said...

if you want to make God laugh tell him your plans. Or, more succinctly, Man Plans, God Laughs