Tuesday, 20 August 2013

Grasping clichés

A year has passed since my dearest Anita passed away.  I have struggled with many things in this time, one of which is the phrase people keep saying to me. It uses the words "letting go" in different ways.

I have wondered what the hell they mean (probably they don't know either).  I can never let go of the love we had or the bond we had (as hard to quantify as that is).
Today I have come to understand that it is perhaps like the meaning of letting go of you loved ones hand while they go to do something else. Like the mothers first day of taking their child to school. You let them go.

This is often a time of anguish for the kid and the parent.
Perhaps what makes that easier is the knowledge that you will see them again.
"Till death do us part" - wasn't part of our wedding vow.

At least this year the pain is not as acute and the tasks not as difficult


Yu-Lin Chan said...

I think letting go just means to accept the fact that it's happened and move on. It's normal to grieve for the loved ones, but if prolonged, it's not healthy to the mind. Letting go is the ability to look at the past and use it to make the future life better.

obakesan said...

well on that point I fail to see how my life can ever be better. To me it can continue, but better? I just dont see it.

Anonymous said...

The grieving process can take a very long time and "moving on" (a phrase I hate) isn't something you should be aiming for. I know when I lost someone very close to me and very suddenly, I thought I would never get over it, but in the end you come to terms with it, gradually and over the period of time that is right for you. By coming to terms with it, I mean the rawness of the pain and the sense of loss gradually diminish, but you don't ever forget the person or cease to wish that they were still here. But gradually you let go in the sense that the loss begins to cease to dominate your life, and gradually you can explore other things. That's how it was for me and I think it is for most people but there is no timetable, but unfortunately in the modern world too many people find death and grief difficult to deal with and they are the ones who often want you to "move on". Just ignore them and take things at your own pace.

obakesan said...

Thanks Anon