When two bodies in motion approach and come close to interact with each other their directions change and depending on the parameters may simply have their paths altered, or orbit one another.
Anita and I orbited each other in what was clearly a very stable orbit,
of course at first the orbits are perturbed (indeed the objects may
orbit briefly and fling off) but our orbits were settling into a
stability that was becoming quite stable and would endure.
Unlike the physical world, one body can instantly cease to exist (in death) leaving the other body (suddenly without the interacting forces) to
resume its uninfluenced "straight line" motion as when a string is released in a sling.
I felt like that body at the time of Anitas death, and I still feel like
that body now.
I have spent the last 4 years wondering about my directions for unlike
an inanimate body I can make a choice in directions, the problem lies in
being able to perceive the world well enough to make good decisions on that.
So in some ways I've come to a decision on my direction today. I've decided to sell our home, invest that money and move on. Staying here seems to serve no purpose and the asset which is our home would be perhaps as much of a burden to me intellectually as it would be a financial risk of the tenants ruined the good works we put into making it our home.
One last point occurs to me from the physical model, and its a shift from the gravitational view to that of the particle view. Quantum entanglement provides a view on how two particles which once interacted can remain coherent although separated by distance. So it is my hope that our interaction brings about an entanglement of what I hope persists of both of us. While my "local realist" view is that she is not here, perhaps (as I have previously conjectured) I'm not really here and that we can eventually be together "somewhere".
who knows ... but for now I'm off on another direction ... waiting for the next disturbance or collision